Very Uncomfortable

I was very exhausted, irritated by the god-damned homework of Computational Physics and was in a very bad mood, when I found Y's portrait on QQ became bright.

Hence we talked, she told me that she's gonna break up with her boyfriend, because she's too tired of loving someone that is too faraway from her. She said she had been very unhappy these days.

Suddenly I felt this unusual rage inside of me, I suddenly felt like slap on her face and shout at her with my top voice. I made up my mind to pick a fight. Hence I told her that I'm so fatigued and upset that I might shout, but it would not be her fault at all. Then I began to fight.

I told her directly, with burning words, that she's favored by the destiny that she can get a boyfriend with ease in high school, and that she can achieve love without any effort. I said that she just sat there, and a bunch of boys, including me, would chase her in succession, and be turned down in succession. "These facts are nice. However, not everyone is favored by destiny! There are a lot of people, like me, that are depressed because they have never felt the warmth of girls! And you are telling me you're depressed because you've been tired of having a boyfriend!"

I considered nothing about the outcome, I don't care whether she'll feel worse or not. I just wanna shout. "Last time you told me that being moved is not equivalent with love, and that one should not hook up with someone only because he or she has affected her or him. I know you made no effort to get a boyfriend, and you fall in love with each other SIMULTANEOUSLY, that's great! Congratulations! The only thing I wanna tell you is that I'm not so lucky as you! I have to deliberately chase a girl in order to win her love! And how should I chase? By doing something to move her!"

I said a lot of such words, and ended with "You think you're very unhappy, huh? In my eyes, you're too lucky to endure such an amount of luckiness! Have a look at those around you, like me, that are making great effort to chase their loved ones, and you'll surely feel happy!"

I feel far better now.